Finding Serenity
by treblerevel
Summary: A view into the life on serenity after several heartbreaks and Milestones.


div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Finding Serenity/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Prologue /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"-/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Two months after Miranda the crew of the firefly class ship Serenity, though incomplete, was still making its way through the 'verse, picking up the odd job there, or transporting a passenger here, living off the small income, and trying to live as happily as they could. Some had lives that they could look back on and smile at. But for some of the crew, it wasn't as easy as it sounded.../div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 1 (Kaylee) Kaylee has an encounter with Simon/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Kaylee rocked back and forth on her hammock in the engine room. She smiled to herself, thinking of the encounter she'd had with Simon on the way here./div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""But, Inara, do you think she'd say yes to me?" She had heard as she clumped heavily in the direction of her room. She stopped when she heard Simons voice. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Simon, you'd have to be an idiot to not notice the way she looks at you, and how she acts around you!...…You have noticed right?" Said Inara, thinking that Simon was maybe a bit of an idiot. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Well...yes... but I mean this kind of thing means for life! Does she like me that much?" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Kaylee decided to make her appearance. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Hi Nara! Hi Simon! What were y'all talkin bout?" She smiled and rocked back on her heels. Inara shot an expectant glance at Simon. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Simon nervously ran his hand through his hair and blushed, looking away from both Kaylee and Inara. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Uhhh...Well, um as a matter of fact.." Simon gestured vaguely with his hand "We were...just discussing how..." Simon faltered /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"" 's all right Simon. You know where to find me." She smiled one more time turned on her heel and completed the distance to her room. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 2 (Zoe) Zoe remembers Wash/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Zoe didn't sleep much anymore. Most nights she stayed up, remembering once upon a time when Wash lay next to her in this now quiet and empty bunk. The only thing left of that crazy, funny pilot that she had called her husband was the plastic stegosaurus on the nightstand. She turned her head and looked at it as a tear rolled down her cheek. In the war she had only focused on surviving, no time for sentiment, or grief. If they were dead, no sense crying about it, not nothin could be done for 'em anymore. When she met Wash, she wanted to dislike him when really, she loved him. She didn't want to get attached, and then see him die. Well, she thought bitterly, I loved him, and look at me now. I loved him for Gods sake! she clenched her teeth together as a fresh wave of tears struck her. She never imagined a world without Wash, and now she was living it. But she didn't want to. Sometimes she wished she had never met him, never has a reason to be crying. But she remembered the time shed spent with Wash, however short, she remembered his funny cracks, witty comebacks, awful puns and just how she felt when she was in his arms. Wash had brought her to life, she had become more of everything. How could she want to forget that? Even now, when she was a shell, a hollow thing with nothing but a Wash-shaped hole inside. I ought to have died too. That second harpoon was meant for me! How could Mal have pushed me out of its path? Living like this is worse than dying. Because the reason for her happiness, and her life was gone forever. Zoe curled up and sobbed. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 3 (River) River likes Jayne/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"River tucked her knees up to her chin as she sat in the pilots chair and stared out at space. Stars, so so many. Never used to see the stars, to much screaming, too much, too, too much. Now she sees the stars, and she sees other things too, The Man Called Jayne, to name one. She leaned her head back and thought about him. Jayne, Jayne, Jayne... She liked thinking it, thinking about Jayne. Words like bells in her mind. Her broken mind, but coming back, together, like before, almost but not quite. Still something strange... But Jayne helped. She was sure he didn't see her the way she saw him but his hair, his hands even his distasteful beard held something appealing for River. That hulking gorilla such a contrast to the boys she had known before, the rich core boys with wealthy families and big houses. Like her family. Like Simon. Simon was a fancy doctor, perfect like her parents wanted. Simon took care of her though, he loved her. she is his baby sister, his mei mei, why would he not? Maybe she found Jayne so appealing because he was so... odd? Different? An idiot? That must be it. She smiled to her self. Yes, Jayne is definitely an Idiot. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 4 (Wash) Wash misses his life and his crew and his Zoe/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"If Wash could have avoided dying, he would have. Although, undoubtedly any dead man would tell you the same thing. But he hated to be with Zoe, in the same room, in the same bed sometimes and not be able to do anything but watch her cry. He would put his ghostly remnant of a hand over hers and look into her face but she couldn't see him. He was gone, dead. He hated to see Zoe cry, he always had, but before he was there for her, gave her his arms to hide in and his shoulder to cry on. Now he was gone, just the memories he had left behind when he was alive really. He wandered around serenity, touching the walls and inhabiting some of his old hideouts. He sat with River sometimes, wishing he could be there to teach her. Sometimes he sat in the engine room with Kaylee, the person, along with him, who stayed cheerful no matter what. She missed him too. When she wasn't smiling he knew she was angry, but when she thought about him her eyes got shiny and a tiny smile flickered through her mouth. He leaned against the counter in the infirmary with Simon, trying to send mind waves to him, asking him to marry Kaylee. That's what she had always wished, she told him once. His only interactions with Jayne was the gleeful fun he had dragging his hand across Jaynes shoulders, and making Jayne slap his palm over his neck and look behind him uneasily. Sometimes he even stuck a finger in Jaynes ear, knowing the brute wouldn't be able hurt him. He sat at the dining room table across from Mal sometimes. Mal with his troubled expressions and tea drinking habits. Mal missed him, but refused to show weakness. Wash had been an excellent pilot but as they spent more time together, the captain found a friend in him too. When he sat with Inara, he always made sure she was the only one there, just in case. Even though no one could see him, it would be very rude to interrupt, not to mention a high level of awkwardness as well. Inara was not quite like the rest of the crew, she just withdrew herself from the world when she was upset, she had come back to live in her shuttle about a month after Miranda, and just disappeared into her shuttle when she found out Wash was dead. But it was the hardest seeing Zoe, his Autumn Flower, withdrawn and distracted, following orders and never relaxing. She never smiled anymore, never laughed. Always the mask that she wore to keep the world out. This was worse than before he met her. She could live a little even then. But Wash liked to think he completed her. Brought out her humorous side. Nothing could have been harder for Zoe than him dying. But maybe, if one of them had to die it was better that it was him. Zoe was strong and dependable. Mal trusted she wouldn't kill herself, make an attempt to join her husband. But Wash wasn't like that. He couldnt have lived without Zoe. Sometimes it was a wonder to him how he survived as long as he did before meeting her. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 5 (Jayne) Jayne polishes Vera and reflects/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Jayne sat at the table, several guns laid out before him. He was carefully polishing each one. But ever since Miranda he didn't get as much joy out of this as he used to. Those people there, wasted away, gave him the creeps. Then when he learned about the Reavers, well those rudongs had always freaked him out and, well, the big Reavers battle that followed, he preferred not to think about it. That was when the little man died. Goddamn idiot. Jayne couldn't understand why he'd do that. Poor Zoe all upset n all. And while we're on the subject of the ladies... River Tam had never been anything but a nuisance to him. Some crazy who used up valuable resources that the rest of the crew could be using. After Miranda though, she'd saved his sorry ass. He'd be dead without her. Gave him a new respect for the loon. She did like being near him for some reason, he observed. She just watched him all the time. Gave him the creeps. But he tried to be polite. Didn't want to be on the wrong end of one of those kicks.../div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 6 (Simon) Simon thinks about Kaylee/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"River is better, she has much more control of her mind now. Simon doesn't know if that's because of the drugs, or if she just got better in time. River used to be the main occupant of his thoughts, but now, these days, she had to share a place. Simon spun the ring around in fingers, it was pretty, just so...Kaylee. He knew shed love it if he just had enough courage to ask her. He get himself all convinced to go talk to her, and then start to doubt himself. Simon really liked Kaylee. He loved her. He wanted to marry her. As he looked down at the ring again, the air seemed to change, as if someone had just walked in to the infirmary. But no one was there. "River?" He asked aloud. Something brushed his arm, maybe, it felt kind of like fog. Kaylee entered his head again. Marry her! A voice (his voice?) urged him. He put the ring back in the box with a determined expression. "Here I go" he said aloud. Than as if finalising his decision, "Kaylee"/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 7 (Inara) Mal shows up in Inara's shuttle/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Inara brushed her hair behind her ear and stirred a bit of honey into her tea. She had been working on getting out of the guild, and ceasing to be a companion. She loved helping people, making them feel better, but she was beginning to think that maybe there were better ways to do it. She also felt she ought to be with her crew, after the events on Miranda. Zoe, especially had sought comfort in Inara. Zoe tried to never cry. Mostly they just sat and talked. Zoe went to Inara rather than other crew members, because Inara wasnt afraid to talk about Wash. Sometimes all Zoe needed was to remember him in the company of another person who had loved him and missed him. Inara was very very good at reading peoples feelings. Someone knocked on her door. "Come in." She hadn't been expecting visitors. Malcolm Reynolds stepped into her shuttle. "Oh...hello, Mal. Please, have a seat." "Hey. Don't mind if I do." Mal smiled slightly and sat down across from her. "So...how's business?" "I resigned. I told you that, Mal." Inara sighed. "Oh...yeah. Thats right. Huh." He put his hands on his knees and rose to his feet. "Whelp, I'd best be goin. Nice seeing you Nara." "Wait! Why... Did you come?" "Ahhh, ain't important. Better see how Rivers gettin on. Thought I felt a shudder..." Then he was gone. Inara sighed and looked at the carpet. That was another reason she resigned. She was in love with Captain Malcolm Reynolds. Why though? Not one person in the 'verse that could answer that.../div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 8 (Malcolm Reynolds)/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Mal Reynolds looked at his reflection in the mirror. He turned his head to admire the handsome jaw, and the straight nose. He was not a vain man, but that don't mean he can't appreciate the handsomeness God gave him. He turned and left the room. Might as well see what River's up to. Told Nara I was gonna. He was stopped on the way to the bridge by Kaylee, Simon was behind her. "Cap'n! Simon's just... Well Cap'n look!" She held out a hand for him to see. Mal had, for the most part, given up his policy on shipboard romances. Zoe and Wash to taught him that love could ,and would, beat him over the head. "Very pretty. When's the wedding?" He asked Kaylee. "Oh, I dunno Cap'n best wait a bit probly..." "Good idea Kaylee. " and to Simon, "You put the ring on the wrong hand, Doc. But you make our little Kaylee happy. Best keep it that way. " He walked up to the bridge and sat in the co pilots chair. "So, Albatross. How's-" where was she? "River?" He stood up. "River!" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 9 (Zoe) Zoe visits Wash's grave/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"She didn't like him. She didn't want to like him. She wished she did not like him. But he made her laugh, he teased her. She didn't like him. She loved him. This man made her happier than she had been all her life. She rested her her hands on his chest and looked at him. "You are so beautiful." He whispered, stroking her hair. "I love you" she whispered back. "I always will"/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" A tear slid down Zoe's cheek. "Zoe!" Mal's voice cut through her reverie. A heavy sadness settled down on her. "Sir?" She said from behind her door. "You can...take out the shuttle today Zoe...you haven't had a day off in a while. You need to...get out again." Mal said awkwardly. "Thank you sir. " she said. Because she had to be polite to her sergeant, not because she wanted to. How could he tell her what to do? All she wanted was to be with Wash again. Maybe she'd go back to Wash's grave. Bring him something to remember her by. Something from their old life. Ten minutes later, with a full canvas sack, Zoe started up the extra shuttle, detached it from Serenity and started to the moon Wash was buried on. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Gunshots rung in her ears. "Zoe, get up!" Mal yelled. She couldn't. That ship, firing at them, they had shot Wash, dead under her hands she clutched at his shirt. His blonde head lolled back and his jaw was slack. "Wash! No you can't leave me baby, not now! Wash!" Mal grabbed her wrist. "Move, Zoe!" "Wash!" She screamed. She sat up. She was not in the war, there were no gunshots, she was in her bunk, Wash was alive, his arm around her shoulders looking with concern into her eyes. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Zoe dragged her sleeve across her eyes. She was almost there. When she touched down. She didn't hurry. She unbuckled her seatbelt picked up the canvas bag and got out of the shuttle. She walked toward the three graves. One for Shepard Book, one for Mr. Universe, and one for...she knelt beside it, looking into the happy, smiling holographic face. A face shed never see again. "Hey Wash-" she started "Baby, I miss you. I miss you like you can't imagine. It's awful without you. I hate it. Every day I think about you, and then I dream about you at night. It's hard Wash. You made my life worth living, and now I don't want to. Don't got no reason to." She sniffed. "But I know that's not what you'd want me to do, baby. I gotta keep living. But I miss you, and I still love you. That's... I just wanted you to know. I keep thinking about the last words you ever heard me say. "Will that work?" I wish I could have been anything else. The last thing I ever said...and it was doubting you. If I could change it I would, and now all I got is one of your Hawaiian shirts in the closet and a stegosaurus on the dresser. My husband is a cold, lifeless body, so the best thing I got is memories. All I can say Wash, there shoulda been more. We shoulda stayed together for a lifetime. Had kids, had a family, a little house and a golden retriever. In fact, we coulda stayed on Serenity for all I care." Zoe looked at the grave "but we can't. Our future was taken away from us. I'll never see you again. Never kiss you, never touch you, never see your happy face smiling at me ever ever again. I used to wonder how I was gonna die, husband, but I know now. You dying was what killed me. Sure, my hearts still beating and my bloods still warm in my veins, but I'll never be a person again. I...I miss you Wash. I will never ever forget you. You are the only person that could make me smile the way you did." She pulled a stegosaurus out of the bag. "I know it's not much...but it was your favorite one. And I think it misses you too. She pulled a Hawaiian shirt out of the bag. "This one was my favorite. I don't think I told you, but I loved it when you wore it. Maybe I like the colors. I dunno. " she tied the sleeves around the base of the monument and sat back on her heels. Her face was streaked with tears and her voice cracked as she said "Why did you have to go, Wash?" The holographic picture smiled at her, a hollow reminder that he couldn't tell her. Because Wash is dead. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 10 (Kaylee) Kaylee fixes Serenity and talks to Simon/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Kaylee is all smiles. All she ever wanted, just y'know, being with Simon. She was so excited for the wedding. But, Zoe...and Wash. She felt something real bad about gettin married after Zoe's husband died...she told Simon they ought to wait, just a year or two...she smiled again. Maybe then she could have a little baby. A little girl she could teach bout engines. Kaylee liked that idea. She fiddled with the socket wrench and looked at Serenity's engine. Somethin was amiss with the old girl, and Kaylee was gonna fix it. Her face had a grease smear on it, and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. Ha! There! She pulled out the faulty piston. She dug around in her tool box. Gorramit! No new ones...hurrm...she found one slightly less damaged then the piston she just pulled out. "This could do it girl..." She said to the room in general. She popped it in and was gratified to hear the loud thunk cap'n had complained about, was gone. Well, less noticeable than before at least. She put her hands on her hips and smiled at the engine. "Hey, Kaylee!" She smiled wider. She loved his voice. "Hey." She turned her head, her hands clasped in front of her. He walked over to her and took her hand. "Fixed the engine?" "Yup. That lil' thing right there...see? Causin all that noise. Now it's gone!" Simon laughed. "You're funny Kaylee" her brow furrowed. "What? I weren't bein funny...I...that's really what is was..." Simon looked worried. He used to accidentally hurt Kaylees feelings sometimes when he tried to say something nice. "I meant... I was trying to say that it's funny how much you like engines!" "How's that funny?" She said. "I-it's not! I mean...you're very good at it! Um...good job on the engine by the way!" He said, quickly back pedaling. She smiled at him. "You're funny too, Simon." She stood up on her toes and kissed him. "I like you Simon" she smiled. "I like you too Kaylee. Um can we talk?" He replied. "Sure. 'Bout what?" "Well, I'm worried about Zoe. And I think-" Kaylee cut him off "Yeah, I think so too. Zoe might be jes a bit upset 'f we go married now" "No, I don't mean that. I think...I think Zoe's pregnant. " /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 11 (Simon)Simon realizes something about Zoe/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Simon was sitting at the table with Kaylee when he first noticed. Zoe came down into the galley. "G'mornin Zoe!" Kaylee smiled. "Good morning. " Simon added. "Mornin." Zoe replied. Simon narrowed his eyes. Something was different here...Zoe had a tiny smile at the edges of her mouth. Like she had a special secret no one but her knew. Simon scrutinized her carefully. For a second his eyes widened. It couldn't be. He would have noticed. It was, of course, possible, but surely he'd have noticed before now, right? He glanced at her again. Yes. Her belly was slightly swollen. About the right amount for four months pregnant. Wow. Wow. Simon was freaking out inside. She must have been pregnant at least a month before Wash had died. Why hadn't she told her husband?! Was she unaware of it? Simon was already mentally speeding ahead five months. He was horribly inexperienced. If this one died, if he was responsible for the death of Wash and Zoe's child, well... He wouldn't be. No way. He'd go out of his way from now on, helping Zoe, keeping her out of strenuous activities. This child had to live. It had too. It was inevitable. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 12 (Mal) Mal panics /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""River!" Oh no, no River had to be on the ship somewhere, all his common sense told him so. But what if they had /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"had another bounty hunter episode, what if she had been captured? Mal strode off of the bridge. "Zoe!" He barked, a bit more harshly than he intended, "see if you can't find River. She's not on the bridge" "Sir?" Zoe answered. "Just...go find her, ok?" He said impatiently before striding off again. When he reached the dining area he stopped short "What in the..." Jayne was there, with River. He had a dopey smile on his face as he showed River Vera. "Woah, woah, don't give her that gun!" Mal said swooping in between them. "What?" Jayne grunted. "Do you remember the last time she had a gun?" "Yeah. I'm rememberin you tekkin it away from er fore she ever pulled the trigger" "Well...yeah...but that won't happen every time!" "Little Crazy may be insane, but she ain't stupid. You let er fly this boat. She'd crash n kill us all jes as easy as shootin us all. I'm teaching er how to handle firearms. She ought t' know. " Mal sighed. Maybe he worried too much. He sighed again and walked out of the room. Seconds later he heard a loud BANG! and a sound like shattering plaster. Mal bellowed in the direction of the galley "JAYNE! Gorramit! I TOLD you not to give her that gun!"/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 13(Inara) Inara talks to Zoe about Wash/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Inara stood up. She'd have to go after Mal. He couldn't just show up and stay for ten seconds. She slid open the double doors, but as she stepped out of her shuttle she saw Zoe. "Inara?" Zoe asked with her head down "Can I talk to you again?" Inara smiled. "Of course honey. I'm always here for you. " Zoe looked at her but didn't smile. Inara led her back into the shuttle and sat her down on the couch, beside herself. "So" Inara started, pouring Zoe some tea "What do you want to talk about?" "I went to Wash's grave this morning." "Oh honey.." Inara touched Zoe's hand. "I brought him a dinosaur...and a Hawaiian shirt...and I told him...how much I...how much...I still..." Zoe turned her head and brushed away a tear. She seemed to regain her balance after that. "I just miss him so much, Inara. But... That's not what I came to tell you. I'm...uh...I think, well I've kinda suspected for a while, but, I don't know... I think I'm..going to have a baby." Inara smiled slightly. "But I don't really want to." Inara turned to look at her sharply. "I mean I will!" Zoe said defensively "But, I'd rather...I just wish...I mean it will never meet Wash! It's father, he's dead. He'll never meet my..our..child, never play with her, she'll grow up just hearing stories about this incredible, fun quirky, loving man. Everyone will tell her what a wonderful person he was. But she'll doubt it sometimes, she'll wish he was there with her. She'll see his picture, in my room. She'll look at his face, and wonder how it sounded when he laughed. But she'll never know." Zoe looked off into the distance. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Zoe, have you told anyone else about your...condition?" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""No. But Simon knows. I mean the doctor was bound to notice sometime..and he's probably told Kaylee." /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""You know Zoe, I think sometimes that Wash is still here. You know, his spirit. Helping us along, being with us, however he can." /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Ghosts ain't real. Wash ain't around."/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""We all have memories of Wash. Those memories build up, they follow us around. They make us feel good sometimes and sad sometimes. That's Wash." Inara said softly. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" "Wash ain't here anymore, Inara." Zoe said angrily standing up. "Wash is dead. You can't hold on forever." /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 14 (River) River interferes in Jaynes life/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"River gets so bored sometimes. Bored, bored, bored. Subconsciously, her feet propel her off the bridge. In a daze she walks, slowly, running her hand along the wall. For a second she wants to go back to the bridge. But she sees the galley, then the dining table. Then The Man Called Jayne. Muttering and polishing a gun. She's not in a daze anymore. She sits next to him. "Hello, Jayne" "What're you doin' here crazy?" He grunts. "I'm here Jayne" she say simply. "You're off yer nut, crazy" he says, returning to his gun. She reaches for it. "Hey! Don't touch 'er! You'll get fingerprints on 'er." He jerks it away from her. "That's ridiculous Jayne. You're getting fingerprints all over it" "Yeah but...I don't want you touchin' 'er too" She cocks her head and smiles. "I won't hurt it Jayne" "Its Vera! Don't call 'er 'it'!" Jayne strokes his gun lovingly. "Let me hold her Jayne? She's so beautiful." River asks holding out her arms. Jayne smiles. She knew calling his gun beautiful would do it. He held it out to her when The Captain burst into the room. "River! There you are!" And then "Jayne! Don't give her a gun!" They started arguing. River hated angry voices. They upset her, made her afraid. Then The Captain left, leaving her, and The Man Called Jayne alone. "Here", he growled, pushing Vera toward her. "Shoot somethin" So River shot at the ceiling, creating a cascade of dust and plaster that rained over them. River giggled at Jaynes expression. /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 15 (Zoe) Zoe misses Wash/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Zoe slammed her door and flopped down on her bunk, like an angry teenager. Her bunk. She hated that name. Her bunk. Hers. Not Wash's anymore. How could Inara think that Wash's ghost, of all things, still roamed around Serenity? Wash was gone. Pretending he was not, pretending he was still there, how could anyone think that made Zoe feel better? She wasn't a six year old whose pet goldfish just died. When would people realize telling her that "Wash is in heaven" or "Wash is still alive in our hearts" did not make her feel better. Wash wasn't doing her any good up there. She wanted him back down here. With her. With her baby. He would have been such a good father. He was so funny. He loved kids. Her daughter would have been the luckiest girl in the 'verse to have a daddy like Wash. A daddy that would make her smile no matter how bleak her mood. That's what he always did for Zoe. He was always there to make her laugh. But he was gone now. He left her and her baby all alone. Alone. She stared at the picture on her dresser. "Wash.." She sat up and held it in her hands. In this simple black and white photograph, Wash's smile illuminated his face. His eyebrows arched and his eyes bright. Zoe's eyes teared up and she bent over the photograph. She thought of when she took that face for granted. When he never doubted seeing it every day. That smile... She put the picture back on her dresser. Next to it was one of her and Wash, on the altar. They were both radiant, herself a tiny bit taller than Wash. They could almost be mistaken for the same height. She was wearing a white dress, held a bouquet of orange lilies and she was smiling at Wash. Completely ignoring the camera, just smiling at him in total adoration. Wash, on the other hand, was leaning into her, but looking at the camera. One arm was around her waist and the other hand was making a secretive thumbs up sign to the cameraman. Zoe loved this photograph. It was so...Wash. A tear dropped into the glass. How could he be dead? How could someone that wonderful be removed from her life? She put her hand on her slightly rounded stomach, and looked at it. "Look baby," she said quietly, showing the photograph "There's your daddy." /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 16 (Jayne) Jayne thinks about River/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Gorramit Crazy! I didn't mean the celin!" Without waiting for a reply he pushed his chair away from the table and lumbered off to his bunk. Jayne knew it was dumb to make Mal mad. He shouldn't have done it. But Crazy was a funny girl. He could tell how much she wanted to use the gun. He hated to disappoint her. Well, he was afraid to make her mad. He knew Crazy'd never shoot a crew member, no matter what Mal says. He grumbled under his breath as he open his door. He stuck a toothpick in between his teeth and started chewing on it. Crazy's not so crazy anymore. Jayne thought. He didn't think it was the drugs that helped though. Gorram doc. Drugs is what made er crazy in the first place. More of em couldn't make ya better. He bit his toothpick in half and threw it on the dresser, with all the other ones. Jayne wondered why he was beginning not to mind Rivers company anymore. His usual philosophy regarding the Tams was "they are useless and we should get rid if them next time we stop. Especially if we stop in the middle of space" sometimes River came down when he was lifting weights. When she was there, he always made a show of lifting heavier weights, making more noise, and all around acting more manly and impressive. It's probably just cause Shepherd ain't liftin with me anymore. Jayne though, explains his weight lifting display in his mind. "Oh gorramit!" Jayne shouted, jumping up and hitting his head. "Ouch. I left Vera with Crazy!"/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);"Chapter 17 (Zoe) Zoe has a dream/div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);""Mama! Daddy! Wake up!" Zoe's tiny, bushy-haired, four-year-old daughter is shaking her awake. She turns her head and sees Wash, sleeping soundly beside her. She smiles and decides to let him sleep. She gets out of bed and picks up her daughter. "Lets go dig up somethin to eat sweetie. " she says. Her daughter laughs and throws her arms around Zoe's neck. They go down to the kitchen together and Zoe sets her down. Zoe fills up the old tea kettle and sets it on the stove to boil. Minutes later the kettle whistles shrilly. Wash is awoken by the sound and is soon downstairs, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and boxers. "You want some oatmeal honey?" She asks her daughter. "Yes!" Wash answers in a mock little girl voice "I would like that mommy!" Their daughter laughs, her eyes crinkling. Zoe snorts. "Make it yourself" she tells Wash, putting an empty bowl in front of her daughter. Zoe reaches for the instant oatmeal packages. "There's no oatmeal in here" Wash notes, studying the empty bowl. Zoe laughs. Wash sidles over to her and kisses her on the mouth. "I love you, Zoe" he adds. "And I love you too!" He says, ruffling his daughters hair. They were a perfect family./div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" Zoe slowly awoke, clinging on to her dream, wanting to stay in that little house. In that little world. Gradually, a heavy sadness settled down on her. Remembering bits of her dream, her eyes teared up. Why did Wash have to die? How in any way was the life she had now better than the one she could have had with Wash? She wished she could stay in her dream forever. She wanted him back. There was no one in the verse like Wash. No one that could make her smile in that way he could. No one that could ever make her feel safe. No one loved her as much as Wash did. Wash was that person who she didn't have to hide anything from. She didn't have to act strong in front of him, because Wash loved her anyway. Even though he was dead, she still loved Wash more than anything in the world. She remembered how his eyes sparkled when he made her laugh. She would have gone anywhere with Wash. But now, finally Wash had gone somewhere that she couldn't follow. /div  
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div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
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div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
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div style="font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094);" /div  
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